Blog

Three days of sunshine and I feel like all is well and nothing could go wrong. After seeing just a few slivers of sun in the last six weeks this feels glorious. Maybe because I am on vacation. Yet if I am logical, I know bad things can happen in the sunshine as well as in a storm. We watch the MLK parade, enjoying the excitement on a perfect day without a care in the world, celebrating a man who didn't believe in violence, yet died by violence. Afterward we discuss the possibility of violence during the parade interrupting the perfection of the day. Jeff's eyes continuously roaming as if managing the bike store again on a busy spring day, mine enjoying the day trying to keep those kinds of thoughts out of my head.

Waking up from the dream, whether I remember the details or not, I know I am terrified due to the feeling trickling all through my legs, right down to the tips of my toes. I twitch back and forth attempting to erase the odd feeling throughout my veins. You know the feeling when all the prickliness has left your fallen asleep legs and feet and just the weirdness remains. I beg for the sun to rise believing it is the answer.

When I was little a babysitter told me if I kept the blanket on, the ghosts could not get me. Though I can't remember my babysitters' names, I remember their long hair with just a flip up at the bottom, 60s style. Obviously, anything would be said to keep me quiet and fall asleep. Throughout my life these words reverberate when I am frightened. How many nights I spent sweating because of my protection. Jeff always tells me I can't help everyone, but what if it only took providing a blanket to those in need to keep the world safe. Maybe I could.